Die to youself

2011-03-24T21:48:00.000-07:00

I have never fully understood Paul's commandment to the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians 6:7. Or rather, I never wanted to understand it. It is a hard truth. That I should rather be wronged or cheated, then hinder someone else. Paul further illustrates the point in 9:12; when talking about his right to receive wages from the church says "but we did not use this right. On the contrary, we put up with anything rather than hinder the Gospel of Christ." I don't want to understand these verses because they are difficult. I don't want to be cheated or wronged! I want to be righted!

But as much as I hate to say it, I think Paul is on to something here. Paul understands one basic truth really well; nothing is as important as Christ. Christ is, was and always will be the only thing that matters. That is why, if something doesn't glorify Him, don't do it! Its easy, Christ is at the center, anything that brings me closer to that good! Anything that tears me away from that, well not good. This works the same for others too. Anything that brings others closer to God, GREAT! Anything that tears them away, terrible.

I know what you're thinking. Largely because I am the only one who reads this, so I always know my audience really well! You are thinking of the great and vast implications this has for our lives. You are right. If I truly believe that Christ is at the center, and if I truly believe I should only do things that glorify him or brings others closer to him, then I have got to change a lot. I have to die to myself. That is right! You do have to die to yourself. In fact, you need to put to death anything that is not of Christ.

I have honestly not found a circumstance in which dieing to my own selfish desires and allowing myself to be wronged or cheated for the sake of Christ, has produced negative results. While yes, sometimes I think the me being cheated part is negative but the other results are good. I still suck at this don't get me wrong. I have days when I argue about the stupidest things to prove that I am right, but sometimes, just sometimes I get one right. I hope that this is a goal that I will always be striving for. Thanks be to God the giver of unlimited grace!

Pick up that cross!

2011-03-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

   I remember sitting in the squad car that night. We were sitting at the light on corner of Tuttle Park and Lane Ave. The car was full of other officers and we were on our way to an event. I sat there in the car listening to the other officers jab and harass each other, I hated it. A pretty girl walked by and the comments about her started flying. I remember being so upset. I hated the way we talked and I hated the way that we were living.

   That was the day that I told God he could have my life. That was the day i decided to give up on running from him and solely live for him. Don't get me wrong I had been a Christian for years before that night, however, i was a Christian in as much as God fit into my plans. When God fit, then heck yes I would follow him! However, those inevitable days in which my plan and God's plan did not mesh, I found myself claiming Christ but refusing to follow him. I was what they called a fair weather fan, or rather, a fair weather Christian. But that night, that fateful night, I said enough and I decided that, "wherever you call me I will go Lord!"

   It is funny, I have terrible memory. I have a photographic memory that lasts for maybe a day to two days. After that I honestly cannot remember anything. It is almost like I have a High Definition recorder but only like 3 Gigs of space. So it is funny that I can remember this day so vividly. So often I reflect back onto that day and remember my conviction to do all I can to follow to the ends of the earth. It never seems to fail that in the times which I am running the opposite direction from God, he gently reminds me of that night. It flickers across my mind like a flame dancing in the breeze.

   So when I felt that tug on my heart to start attending Seminary, I took it. Plus for one of the rare times it seemed that God's calling on my life to attend Seminary seemed to match up with my plans for my life. It was an incredibly easy call to make. See I could take some classes online from where I was living in Columbus Ohio. This way I could continue to lead Young Life, work my job, live with my friends and date my awesomely beautiful girlfriend. This made sense to me, it made sense that God wanted me to be happy and wanted me to have what I wanted, which was what I had.

   I often wish that following God was that easy; "go wherever is most comfortable and stay there!". I never want to admit it, but in all honesty that is what I want this whole serving God thing to really be. *Spoiler Alert* It's not. Apparently following God is more about following him in all circumstances rather than simply the pleasant ones. Last summer was one of those such times. I had lost my job, my amazing girlfriend dumped me and my roommate left for North Carolina to pursue what God had called him to. It felt like everything had been torn away from me. I felt lonely and stupid. So I packed everything I owned into my Chevy Cobalt and drove to Chicago IL, to attend seminary full time. My mission was simple, "follow God". I felt like God had taken all away so I could simply know him deeper, and follow him. It made sense.

   The problem is that even when you are following God, difficulties will come flying at you out of the woodwork. I miss her, I miss her a lot. I don't know why it was so long ago and was for such a small period of time. Maybe it is because she saw me at my darkest and still loved me. I don't know, I am no psychiatrist. What I do know is that when I am following God this stuff isn't supposed to happen, right? I mean I am doing YOUR will. Isn't that like a free pass on pain?

As I read this post, I chuckled to myself. I wrote this in an email to that girl and I think it fits in perfectly here. " It's weird, when i moved out here i was begging God that he be here. For the last 6 months its been hit and miss. I honestly feel like he was no more here than in Columbus. That this decision to come to Chicago was no more God's call than it was for me to stay put. I have begun to learn that is largely based on my interpretation of what it would look like for God to be here. In my mind i catch myself thinking that if God was truly calling me here, then my life would be overflowing with Joy and peace. Following God is never as easy as we think it will be, ya know? I guess that is why he said "Pick up your Cross!", and not "Hop into that brand new Lexus"! and follow me." I always found it weird that he said "pick up your cross". I don't want to carry a cross those things are heavy. I want to pick up my bag of money, drive in my fancy car or walk casually with my super hot wife, but picking up the cross?!?! That seems difficult. Largely because it is difficult.

   The more and more I read through scripture, the less and less I find people who did not suffer when they followed Christ. Paul being beaten and jailed and then eventually martyred for his faith. Stephen, stoned to death for proclaiming truth. John the Baptist, Peter, James or any of the other martyrs for the faith. It seems much more reasonable that following Christ is not easy. Maybe that is why the road to destruction is wide. So why then would we as reasonable people ever choose this lifestyle? Because is there anything else to choose?!?! I think Peter said it best in John 6:66-68 "From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.
   ⁶⁷ “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.
⁶⁸ Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. ⁶⁹ We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.”"

   Christ you DO have the words of eternal life, YOU ARE THE HOLY ONE OF GOD! Where else would we go? To what end could we ever work for that would ever hold weight compared to you. You have given me so much through the cross, how could I ever turn from you? That... that is why I will pick up that cross. I will leave friends, family, relationships, jobs and money to follow you. May you always receive the glory of this wretched life.

Just Another Beggar

Die to youself

Pick up that cross!